You Know You're NOT In Texas When...

My good friend and native Texan Noah Coad recently wrote a post entitled "You Know Your In Texas When" highlighting the sights and mostly tastes of Texas that stood out during his visit with family over Christmas (Noah works for Microsoft and now lives in Redmond).  Being a former Texan who transplanted himself even farther away than the Pacific Northwest, I couldn't help but make the opposite comparisons in my new home (which for those of you who didn't notice the picture above is London, UK). 

  • Its December and the sun goes down around 3:30pm. 
  • You can't see across the street for the thickness of the fog. 
  • Very few people say "Merry Christmas", preferring instead to say "Happy Christmas". 
  • Instead of watching NFL Football, you watch "The Great Escape" but aren't entirely sure why.
  • The local "Barbecue" joint, and I use that term generously, has a full page "vegetarian" menu
  • The women are amazingly beautiful but with fewer blondes and slicone "enhancements"
  • A drive of 70 miles from London to Felixstowe today left my wife and I physically and emotionally exhausted
  • The vehicles are tiny, but with better headroom than 90% of all US cars.  Go figure.
  • There are NO parking spots, compact or otherwise
  • As opposed to a statue of a somewhat unpopular one-term president that everybody knows about, you see a statue of a hugely popular historical figure that you've never heard of. 
  • Mexican food here is baaaaaad.  How in the name of Guadalupe do you have Mexican food with no beans?
  • While shopping at the local Waitrose for a Christmas ham you end up settling for a Gammon Joint which in fact turns out to be ham.
  •  Bluegrass music is not played here ever, I'm pretty sure there's a law.  Country music is rare.  Dance music and R&B are everywhere.  You dream about XM Radio.
  • It seems the younger population outnumbers you about 100:1.  Either London is a very young city or I'm getting very old.
  • Gas (Petrol actually) is ~£1.20/l or roughly $9.00/gallon.
  • Restaurant servers barely acknowledge your existence. 
  • You're 4500 miles from your friends and family.


1 Comment

  • I like European cars just fine although I find it a bit silly to pay for an expensive BMW or Mercedes while living in London. There just isn't enough call for open road driving. I'd rather have a Vauxhall that I don't mind if it gets beat up a bit trying to park at the local Tesco.

    While I agree that football (Soccer in America) is more aptly named, American Football is more fun to watch because along with the fundamental athleticism that exists in both games, American Football is very strategy intensive. Besides, I seldom see half-naked cheerleaders while watching Arsenal.

    So what the heck is "Christmas Wartime Season"? Besides "The Great Escape" (which is a classic movie for sure), another station is playing "Band of Brothers"? How does the British psyche combine Christmas and War?


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