EULAs are Fun. Mock Them Mercilessly!
In my previous post about the new, free Telerik JustDecompile beta, I made fun of the license terms that specifically forbade you from decompiling their decompiler. As you might expect, this was a copy and paste oversight and has been fixed in the latest downloadable installer. Thanks Telerik!
EULAs (speaking generally now) are a strange part of software distribution where the lawyers wield a club. For most consumers, the “I have read and agreed to the license conditions” checkbox is just a minor annoyance that they click through without a millisecond of concern. In fact, these agreements are fascinating and often laughable. You guys don’t know what you’re missing out there!
The lawyers for some corporations are candidly upfront that they take no responsibility if their expensive software trashes your machine. They even have the nerve to put in (fine) print that the product may be so buggy as to be unsuitable for any purpose at all. (A morale booster for the QA team, no doubt.) Warning: You’re risking your life, liberty, and happiness by installing this code. Don’t say you weren’t warned! Some clauses focus on promises not to use Logo-based code in a nuclear power station or near anyone on life support.
Do the CEOs and product managers read these things and push back? No. When challenged, powerful and highly-paid people cringe, cower, and dismiss the EULA as ‘a legal thing that we have no control over’.
Debates have raged for years about whether EULAs (click or shrinkwrap) are enforceable. Sure, you just agreed to hand over your first-born child by clicking “I Accept”. Now, what are the chances Company A’s corporate counsel would have the guts to seize your kid at school just because their stealth ‘phone home’ activation routine discovered that you installed their software on TWO VHDs?
For my part, I don’t need the cost, stress, and ignominy of having my sorry butt hauled into court by a heartless corporate legal department – even if I’m 100% in the right. You lose even when you win against these guys. It’s far more fun (and safer) to read through the EULAs and then blog about their silliness. Show no mercy! <grin>
Ken